Get Connected Wirelessly

So my last bit of writing I tried something different. I tried blogging directly from my iphone.

Which was great.

Except that it wasn't totally awesome.

It wasn't totally awesome because after about thirteen minutes I had only written about two paragraphs and my thumbs were starting to tire. I haven't developed the phalangial fortitude I would need in order to write an entire essay.

For this I blame history for not speeding technology fast enough for me to spend my youth texting from tiny little digital keyboards. I am also betrayed by the nail on my left thumb which I keep slightly longer than my right in order to pluck the bass strings on my guitar. I also blame my parents for investing their genetic material in a man with short stubby thumbs. I'm thinking of blaming the labor unions too. Somehow they are responsible for the complication of my latest whim, because the muslims are too easy a target.

So, this week I've been mulling over different technical solutions to a self imposed problem. Answers vary from giving up totally to investing half of taylor's college fund in a sweet new toy for my sweet fat self. But after explaining the cost of certain things to my greedy little sub-conscience, I decided to either suffer the indignities of having to walk all the way across the house to do my dirty work, or do no work at all.

Which turned out to be my 2010 plan.

And didn't go over very well.

So I could connect my iphone to my blog and now all I needed was to connect some type of writing instrument to my iphone.

Like a keyboard.

Like a wireless keyboard.

Like the wireless keyboard I am now using to write this blog.

How exciting to be able to work anyway I want from wherever I am. How lovely that I didn't have to rationalize an expensive new piece of equipment.

How depressingly sad to be a PC user.

Taylor just crept over and showed me that I can control the music from my iPhone from my wireless keyboard. I can dim the screen or brighten it. I can put the phone on sleep mode and reactivate it by touching any key. I can play, pause, fast forward, and rewind. I can raise the volume, lower the volume and mute.

Mute dude. Mute.

There's a button on the keyboard that looks like a speedometer. I press it. It does nothing.

Could be an altimeter and I'm too close to sea level to get a reading.

There are two blank buttons. F5 and F6. I doubt that by pressing them I will remotely detonate an improvised explosive device somewhere in the world, but I'm afraid to touch them all the same.

There is both an escape button, and an eject button. There is no practical application for these buttons while phone blogging, but they're nice to have for metaphoric purposes.

Anyway, now that I am fully plugged into the digital universe, I think its time to go outside and light something on fire.

I am a boy after all.