it ain't easy being brothers

this morning as I finished a cup a coffee, I was treated to another episode of brotherly territorialsim.

The three year old wanted to play the M&M video game (not to be confused with MNM the rapper) We're talking M&M candies in suped up race cars.

The sixteen year old wanted to play Mario Kart.

This fight went on for ten whole minutes before the little one got loud. So I yelled at the older one.

I don't necessarily always pick on the older one. (though it seems like it to him) In actuality, the little one was clearly there first. He totally had dibs.

Even though thirteen years separates the two boys, it just doesn't seem to matter much. One of them is always pushing the other around. Even though the sixteen year old clearly dominates in the weight class, he's got nothing in the arena of doe eyed cutness. They both however excel in shear volume and total inability to gage the mood of the parents.

The only saving grace in conflict resolution is that it's usually very clear who's in the wrong. To see who was there first. To see who's toy it really is.

I mourn for my parents who had no such clear distinctions between us two boys. They had to go with their gut every time.

But then, they also didn't have to teach basic sharing tehniques to a toddler when it's obvious that the older one is severely handicapped in that arena. Neither is a good influence on the other.

I'll never get to say "Why can't you be more like your brother?"

Another cliche of parenting slips through my fingers.

But it's my own brother who's on my mind today.

Last week he gave me a call out of the blue.

Now, my brother doesn't call very often. He's not the chit chatty sort. But he also doesn't call when he needs things,

like money problems
or
help moving
or
car troubles
or
guess what I got arrested for

He will call for random things at random times,

like 10pm trivia question answers
or
10am golf invitations when I'm at work
or
2am "I love you man"
or
6pm damn mom is off her rocker

Sometimes I won't hear from him for months. And then we talk almost every day. And then he'll not show up for a party and I won't hear from him again for another few months.

This type of relationship drives my wife crazy.

But he did give me a call the other day to tell me that he caught my song "Catch it to Me" on my myspace and that he really liked it. He said it moved a little fast but that he really liked it.

I'm sure I don't have to say it, but that made me feel really good.

really good.

Kind of makes me wish I had let him play with my toys more often.