But it made me realize that I may have been a little overdramatic.
A little too Tennessee Williams and not enough Neil Simon.
What I meant to say was that the scratch demo I recorded sounded far different from my original intent.
I didn't say it was bad, or that I should check myself into the Ford Clinic, but I wasn't prepared for how different.
It was like pouring myself a bowl of stew, and ending up with a mouthful of Pop Rocks.
I like Pop Rocks, but they just don't quite hit the spot on a lazy hazy sunday afternoon.
And that's what I meant by paradigm shift. To fall in love with what I've got rather than what I've dreamed and go forward. Like a husband falling in love with his wife rather than his secretary.
Sure the secretary might seem like a lot more fun, but she is probably a cat lover, and nobody spends that much time at the nail salon unless they have deep emotional needs.
With that said, it also reminded me that I haven't been fully open during this whole process.
My original intent was to pull a total Castanza. (ie "Hi, my name is George, I'm fat, I'm bald, I have no job and I live with my parents.")
Do everything a song writer is not supposed to do.
First I was going to use my son as my only inspiration: Too hokey. Too sentimental. Too Kermit the Frog for a Leonard Cohen career.
Second, I was gonna write about the whole process in blog form from first chord to iTunes release. Too unreliable. Too close to thousands of writer's block blogs. Too much like a vomit pail or a bed pan.
And lastly, I was going to invite the universe to listen to the songs in their infancy, weigh in, make suggestions, tell me how much they hate the ones I love, and love the ones I hate.
I chickened out on this last part.
Sure there were technical glitches, time issues, etc etc, but really, it's a very stupid idea.
Criticism can be such a baby killer.
But that was the most dangerous part of all.
That was the scariest part. (or dumbest, whichever you prefer)
And why do it at all?
Doesn't the taboo exist for a reason?
Yes, and for very good reasons, but it's an interactive social medium I'm experimenting with and it's something I could never do if I was already a commercial artist. I'm breaking with taboo, just to break something, and it feels good.
Hell, if I'm gonna stand up naked in front of everyone I know, I might as well have the balls to keep the lights on.
Get it?
Balls?
Anyhoo,
Starting this week I'm going to invite all of you to take your first listen to each of the new songs.
Every friday, I will upload a tune onto myspace. I will send out an invite via facebook to come take a listen, and comment if you feel the need. The song will only last until the next one comes along and will not be available for free download.
Note: each song will of course already have been registered with the copy write office (me stupid, but not that stupid.) Because each song will have already been registered, I will not be taking into account any lyrical or melodic suggestions.
Too fast?
Too Slow?
Kill it!
Keep it!
More Cowbell!
Whatever the response, I'm determined enough to take it, and fragile enough let it hurt.
Watch for the invitation.
Love,
Josh
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