Well, I don't have gout. I don't have tendonitis nor the aforementioned tendinitus (again a fine distinction) I don't have cardivascular disease. My blood pressure was 144 over 75. High, but normal. I'm not suffering froms SARS or swine flu.
No, unfortunately, I have a perfectly normal impinged nerve.
Impinged?
That's not even a word.
I checked.
And the treatment is perfectly normal as well.
Rest.
Do you want muscle relaxers?
Yes Doc, yes I do.
I found it funny how tired and unresponsive to humor my general practitioner would be at 2:30 in the afternoon.
She asked me what kind of job I did.
I told her that I worked in a coffee shop.
She didn't seem all that impressed. Then she asked if it required a lot of repetitive motion. I told her yes. She nodded her head in a very knowing way.
She asked me if I wanted to take a stretching class.
"Like naked yoga?" I asked.
she didn't respond for a moment and then said she might be wrong about her diagnosis and asked me to go get x-rayed. Then she prescribed muscle relaxers and gave me some very half hearted directions to radiology.
I thanked her for her time.
Indifferent medicine is embarrasing.
Turn to your right. Breathe in. Take off your shirt.
These are the directions given by doctors and aged prostitutes.
I just hoped to feel better.
but I ponied up my co-pay and went home.
And then took my muscle relaxers.
My dad asked me the next day if they worked at all.
I said no.
He said "take two"
No comments:
Post a Comment