So Calvin asked me this question:
What does Please mean?
Its a polite way of asking someone for something.
Cause really? What the hell does "Please" mean?
But then I had to put my thinking cap on because he gave me that insolent little look the proves he knows I was giving him a non answer.
The kind of answer that ranks right up there with "Cause I said so."
Well Calvin . . .
I breathed.
To Please some one means to make them happy.
So when you say Please, you are really saying, "Would you do this thing for me in order to make me happy?".
So how come its magic?
Cause I said so.
And this developed into a long conversation over what my role is as a parent. Apparently, Calvin is of the view that my job as a parent is to make him happy all the time cost be damned.
And I had the fortuneate task of informing him that it is my job to make sure that he has food and a place to live.
The gap between our understanding of my role was far too wide for him to comprehend.
So then is it mommy's job to make me happy?
No sweetie. it is mommy's job to make sure you have food, and a place to live, and that that place is clean.
Is mommy's job harder?
Yes.
Is it because she loves me more?
Yes.
I love the fact that Calvin keeps a running tab on all the nice things Joann does for him, and a secondary list of all the things that I force him to do against his will.
When is mommy coming home?
Not for a few more hours.
That's too long. I want mommy.
Why?
Cause she loves me more.
Does she take you swimming?
She would if she were home more.
Can't argue with that.
And here's the thing: Our relationship has become adversarial. I am the dragon. He is the princess. And Joann is the knight in shining armor. Except in this little teleplay the princess has a homemade Katana and has no fear of swacking at the dragon until the knight arrives.
And to push the metaphor even further, let us say that the dragon is also an artist and falling head first into a very complicated project and simply doesn't have the patience he normally would, to devote his attention to the needs of the princess.
And this makes the princess very angry.
And since the princess has spent the entire summer locked in the tower with nothing but video games and swimming pools, its become quite the shock for the little princess to suddenly be thrust into six hours of school each day.
The princess is not happy with the dragon.
The knight's not much help either.
And when the knight and the dragon talk all they can talk about is how much easier it will be when the princess's older brother has gone off to college and the princess has finally accepted that there is no alternative to school.
In the mean time, the dragon's got major rehearsing and recording schedules to manage. His money job is dependent on the Holiday Season, so he has to gear up for that, and the lawn is yet again in desperate need of mowing.
Not to mention that both the knight and the dragon have to lose another 11 pounds.
Dieting makes even fantasy characters a wee bit more cranky than usual.
So we are all on edge.
Except of course the princess's older brother, who at 2:00pm, is still in bed.
Does the dragon want to stay in bed till 2:00pm?
Yes, please.
